1464: Louis XI of France forms a postal service, and French dogs rejoice.

1865: The end of slavery is announced in Texas; 150 years later, America totally has this race thing under control.

1896: Wallis Simpson, the Queen’s second-least favorite divorcee, is born.

1973: Dammit, Janet, the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” stage production opens in London.

2013: James Gandolfini passes away, and waste management is never the same.

It’s also World Sauntering Day and Garfield the Cat’s birthday, so practice your nonchalant stroll as you search for lasagna.