Author: Jane Bennett

Today in History: June 26

June 26, 2014: The Supreme Court rules 5-4 in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage in all 50 states! Subsequently, Target’s server for wedding registries crashes hard.

June 26, 1284: The Pied Piper lured away the children of Hameln after the townspeople refused to pay him for ridding their town of rats. (We are just as surprised as you to find out that this was a true story.)(Okay, maybe not “true”, but “true enough” that there’s a generally-accepted date, which is almost as surprising, especially since no one can agree with what happened.)

1870: Christmas is declared a national holiday. Coincidentally, June 26th is also when the Christmas shopping season starts.

1892: Pearl S. Buck is born. She would go on to be the first American woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature for her books inspired by her life in China.

1948: “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson is published. Thousands of high school students commence essays.

1963: President Kennedy makes his famous “Ich ben ein Berliner” speech in West Berlin. Contrary to popular legend, the president did not declare himself a jelly doughnut.

2013: In United States v. Windsor, the U.S. Supreme Court held that Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional. (Check out this guide for the non-lawyers amongst us.)

Our neighbors to the north are celebrating National Canoe Day today! America is just going to sit on the sofa and binge watch Netflix, if that’s okay with you.

June 26, 2015
Today in History: June 25

June 25, 1678: Elena Cornaro Piscopia becomes the first woman to receive a Doctorate in Philosophy from the University of Padua. We can only assume that shortly thereafter, some guy attempted to mansplain Aristotle to her.

1876: Lt. Colonel Custer and his men are routed at the Battle of Little Bighorn; Americans are simultaneously horrified by the death of Custer and his men and continue to murder Native Americans and confine them to smaller and smaller reservations.

1945: Carly Simon is born. You’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you.

1947: The Diary of A Young Girl, by Anne Frank, is published and puts a face to the atrocities of Hitler’s regime. Anne may have believed that “despite everything, people are really good at heart,” but we still think Justin Bieber is a jerk.

1996: Independence Day premieres in L.A.; it would become the year’s highest-grossing film and Bill Pullman’s speech as President Whitmore becomes engrained in America’s consciousness.

Today is also National Catfish Day— President Reagan may be been famous for his love of jelly beans, but he is also responsible for the 1987 creation of a day celebrating farm-raised catfish.

June 25, 2015
Today in History, June 24

June 24, 1812: Forgetting the Most Famous Classic Blunder, Napoleon’s army invades Russia. Despite having one of the largest armies ever gathered, the French leader failed to win the decisive victory he expected, and was forced to retreat during Russia’s brutal winter.

June 24, 1916: Mary Pickford, silent film star and United Artists co-founder, becomes the first woman to sign a million dollar contract in film.

1997: the USAF publishes a report explaining away the the mysterious events at Area 51. No one believes them.

2009: South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford, missing for 6 days, admits to being in Argentina instead of hiking on the Appalachian Trail. (Honey Badger knows that affairs are personal issues, but thinks it’s tacky for sitting governors to leave the country for a week without telling anyone.)

It’s also International Fairy Day! So go celebrate (if you believe in the good kind of fairies) or grab an iron bar or two (if you know that the fair folk are not to be trusted).

June 24, 2015
Today in History, June 23

June 23, 1611: Intent on making good time, Henry Hudson presses his crew to continue exploring what is now Hudson Bay; his crew, intent on going home, set him, his son, and several crew members adrift in the bay.

1926: The first SAT exams are given. No word on whether or not it became part of the students’ permanent record.

1940: Wilma Rudolph is born; she went on to win her first Olympic medal while still in high school in 1956 and three more in Rome in 1960.

1960: Enovid was officially approved by the FDA for contraception. Fifty years later, Rush Limbaugh still thinks women who take The Pill are sluts. (Men who take multiple pills, however, are apparently still okay.)

1964: Joss Whedon joins the world; vampires and spaceships are never the same.

It’s also Pink Flamingo Day (the plastic kind, not the John Waters kind), so go ahead and flock one of your neighbors!

Updated to add: Donald Featherstone, creator of the pink plastic lawn flamingo, died today at age 79. Flock on in his memory.

June 23, 2015
Today In History: June 21 (Special Father’s Day Edition)

Even Badass Women celebrate Father’s Day*! While Mother’s Day became law in 1914, it took another 58 years for the dads to get their turn. Various dates were celebrated annually for most of the 20th century, but it wasn’t until 1972 that the most-cuddliest of American presidents, Richard Nixon, would grant the menfolk their own special day. Celebrate the fathers (and father-figures) in your life with our Special Edition Today In History.

June 21, 1638: Increase Mather is born in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. He and his son, Cotton Mather were both influential Puritan ministers, striking serious blows against fun wherever they went.

1774: Daniel Tompkins, 6th Vice President of the United States is born. (Admit it, you’ve never heard of Vice President Tompkins, and probably can’t even name the 5th President he served under.)

1791: Louis XVI, his wife Marie Antoinette, and their family flee Paris. Jean-Baptiste Drouet recognized the king immediately, thanks to his habit of appearing on French currency, and he and his family were arrested and returned to Paris

1939: Lou Gehrig, having been diagnosed with ALS, retires from the Yankees. Two years later, the “Luckiest Man on the Face of the Earth” passed away of his illness.

Today is also the Summer Solstice– for you sun worshipers, know that days are only getting shorter. (For those of you dreaming of winter it’s coming, I promise.) If you’re near Stonehenge, get your druid on in the appropriate fashion. If you’re not, maybe you should just have some ice cream.

I’ve also been advised that because today is the longest day of the year, it is also Tall Girl Appreciation Day. So go on and appreciate the tall girl in your life with a hug, or a kind word, or Starbucks, or something. (5’9″ and up, babes. Short Girls, you already have an appreciation day, and Average Height Girls, well, every day is your day, because your pants are always the right length.)

* Yes, it’s Father’s Day today. Did you forget? Here are some last-minute gift ideas:

If the father-figure in your life is actually handy, he probably already owns a Leatherman. If he only thinks he is, why not feed his ego for one day a year and buy him one anyway?

For the not-so-handy father, how about a first-aid kit? If he cleaned up your scrapes when you were little, do him a solid and help him out with his own.

Exactly how much of a pain in the ass were (are) you? For the dad who needs a little help getting through the day, how about a handy flask? For the well-behaved father, try coffee instead.

June 21, 2015