So I made what was undoubtedly one of the less sensible decisions of my life, and decided to try to train to complete the Drexel University Indoor Triathlon. Never mind the fact that I hate running. Never mind the fact that I cannot swim.
Never mind the fact that I keep misspelling “triathlon.”
I’ve succumb to peer pressure. See, I graduated from Drexel, and every March, I see pictures of people I know all over my Facebook feed who have completed one of the four options.
So, instead of just either not going on Facebook for the month of March, or blocking everyone I know, I made the foolhardy decision to actually attempt to complete this while avoiding death. (Note, not compete. I will never be able to compete. Nay, my goal is to complete without requiring medical intervention.)
It needs to be noted again: I hate running. With a passion that cannot be explained. With the fire of a thousand gamma ray bursts, I hate running. And yet, I’m going to try to run 3 miles after I bike 12 and swim 750 yards. Oh, right, lest ye forgot:
I can’t swim.
Don’t know how I’m going to get to a point where I can swim 750 yards, because of course I don’t want to do the half triathlon. No, why would I do that, when I could do the full? Oh, did I mention that until this week, I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was 12?
My ass, my legs. My ass AND my legs. Dear Lord.
Oh, and by the way, I am a self-described fat fuck who loves food and hates exercise. (Self-described. You try it and I’ll have to cut you.)
Clearly, I’ve lost my mind.
I figure if I aim for the big dog, I’ll be in good enough shape to hang with the puppies. So, I’m trying to get my biking/running legs ready.
Tonight I completed week one. Two nights this week, I biked for 3 miles on the stationary bike, and walked for .75 miles on the treadmill. Well, Monday I jogged .25 miles. I nearly died. Seriously, I thought I saw Jesus. Tonight, I didn’t have my sports bra (darn) so I just sped-walked the three quarters of a mile. I feel less like I’m dying, and more like I want to lie down. Unfortunately, I’m going to the gym before class, so a bed is not happening any time soon. It’s also difficult to judge how close to death I am today, because my back and my neck have been KILLING me all day. So, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but I can’t really tell? Because I both belong to a gym and have free access to the one at my college, I could go again on Saturday.
We shall see exactly how much of my mind I’ve lost.